How to help a family member who drinks too much
You cannot control another person's drinking, but your support can make a difference. Here is how to talk, what to avoid, and how to keep everyone safe.
Facts last checked: 11 October 2026
In short
- Talk when the person has not been drinking. Speak about your own worry, not their faults.
- Do not force a sudden stop. After heavy daily drinking, stopping suddenly can cause seizures (fits) and can be life-threatening. They should speak to a doctor first.
- Offer to go with them to a doctor. Expect to have more than one conversation.
- Call 112 at once if the person cannot be woken, has a seizure (fit), or is breathing very slowly.
- Your safety comes first. If there is violence at home, call 112. Women can also call 181 or 14490.
Before you talk
You may feel worried, tired, angry or ashamed. Your family is not alone. A Government of India survey report from 2019 found that more than 5.7 crore people in India need help for alcohol problems.
The drinking is not your fault. You cannot control it or force the person to accept help. But your support can make a difference. A serious drinking problem is a medical condition, not a choice or a fault in the person's character.
How to start the conversation
- Choose a calm, private time when the person has not been drinking.
- Speak about yourself: "I am worried about your health."
- Describe what you have seen. Do not use hurtful labels.
- Ask what they think. Then listen.
- Stay calm. Do not lecture, threaten or beg. Do not bring many relatives to confront them.
One talk is often not enough. If the person says no, give them time and try again later.
What not to do
- Do not argue when they have been drinking.
- Do not lie or make excuses about their drinking.
- Do not drink with them.
Do not force a sudden stop
If a person drinks heavily every day, their body may depend on alcohol. Stopping suddenly can then cause withdrawal, the body's reaction when a person who drinks heavily stops. Severe withdrawal can cause seizures (fits) and delirium tremens, a state of sudden, severe confusion. It can be life-threatening. So do not demand that they stop at once. They should speak to a doctor first, so that stopping is planned safely.
Encourage a visit to a doctor
A general doctor is a good place to start. Offer to go with the person, and encourage them to be honest about how much they drink. A doctor can check their health and plan how to cut down or stop safely.
Some government hospitals have addiction treatment facilities. You can also call the national de-addiction helpline on 14446. It is toll-free and offers counselling and referral. Family members can call too.
If the person is not ready, a smaller step may be easier. The free Recoverly app has a short self-check and can prepare a summary for a doctor. The person must sign in to use it. It shows a level of risk, not a diagnosis.
Change takes time. Treatment is likely to take months, not days. A return to drinking is common. It is a temporary setback, not a failure.
Take care of yourself
Living close to someone's heavy drinking can be very stressful. Your own health and your family's safety come first. Tell a trusted relative or friend what is happening.
If you notice low mood or constant worry in yourself, ask for help too. Tele-MANAS is the Government's free mental health counselling line. Call 14416 or 1-800-891-4416.
You can also think about a support group for families. Al-Anon Family Groups are run by their own members, for relatives and friends of a person with a drinking problem.
If there is violence at home
Your safety and your children's safety come first. If you are in danger, call 112. Women can also call the Women Helpline on 181. It is toll-free and open 24 hours, and another person can call for you. It does not operate in West Bengal, so call 112 there. The National Commission for Women helpline, 14490, is open 24 hours for women over 18.
When to call 112 immediately
Too much alcohol at one time can poison the body. Call 112 at once if you see any of these signs. Do not wait for all of them. A person who is unconscious is still in danger.
- They cannot be woken, or are very confused.
- They have a seizure (fit).
- Their breathing is slow or uneven: fewer than 8 breaths a minute, or gaps of 10 seconds or more between breaths.
- Their skin is pale, bluish, cold or damp.
While you wait for help
Stay with the person. If they are awake, help them to sit up. If they are unconscious, lay them on their side so that they do not choke on vomit. Check that they are breathing. Keep them warm. Do not give coffee, food or more alcohol. Do not put them in a cold shower or try to make them vomit.
Danger signs after a sudden stop
A sudden stop after heavy daily drinking can be dangerous, so the person should speak to a doctor first. But sometimes a person stops suddenly. Withdrawal signs often start within 6 to 12 hours of the last drink, but can also start days later. They tend to be strongest at about 24 to 72 hours. If you see shaking, sweating, anxiety, nausea or poor sleep, contact a doctor at once.
Call 112 or go to the nearest hospital at once if the person:
- has a seizure (fit)
- becomes very confused, or sees or feels things that are not there
- has a fever, severe shaking or an uneven heartbeat
Tell hospital staff that the person was drinking heavily and has now stopped.
Support, not medical advice
Recoverly helps you reflect on your habits — it is not medical care. If you drink heavily, stopping suddenly can be dangerous (withdrawal can cause seizures). Please talk to a doctor before making big changes to how much you drink.
Sources
This guide was written from the public health pages below. They are in English.
- Helping a loved one with a drinking problem · MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine (NIH)
- Alcohol withdrawal · MedlinePlus, U.S. National Library of Medicine (NIH)
- Treatment for Alcohol Problems: Finding and Getting Help · National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), U.S. NIH
- Starting the Conversation · NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator, U.S. NIH
- Managing Expectations · NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator, U.S. NIH
- Caretaker Support Resources · NIAAA Alcohol Treatment Navigator, U.S. NIH
- Understanding the Dangers of Alcohol Overdose · National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA), U.S. NIH
- Alcohol poisoning · NHS (UK National Health Service)
- Alcohol support · NHS (UK National Health Service)
- Alcohol (fact sheet) · World Health Organization
- National Action Plan for Drug Demand Reduction · Department of Social Justice and Empowerment, Government of India
- Year-End Review 2025: Overview of Schemes and Key Achievements of the Department of Social Justice and Empowerment · Press Information Bureau, Government of India
- The Digital India 11 Years of Transformation (explainer giving the Tele MANAS numbers) · Press Information Bureau, Government of India
- In a significant milestone achieved under the National Tele Mental Health Programme of India, the Tele-MANAS Helpline receives over 10 lakh calls since its launch in October 2022 · Press Information Bureau, Ministry of Health and Family Welfare, Government of India
- Women helpline 181 · Ministry of Women and Child Development, Government of India
- NCW Women Helpline (14490) · National Commission for Women, Government of India
- Other Helplines · National Commission for Women, Government of India
- Contact Us · National Commission for Women, Government of India
- Alcohol-use disorder · NHS (UK National Health Service)
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